Crying And Comforting

Some babies cry more than others. Even once they are "settled" there are babies who seem more inclined to the miseries, more jumpy or just generally less contented than other babies.

But there are changes during the second and third months which make even "difficult" babies easier to live with and love. Your baby may still begin to cry many times every day, but he will no longer go on and on despite all your efforts at comfort - unless, of course, you are coping with "colic". Pick the baby up for a cuddle and a chat and the crying will stop. If he is in pain or acutely hungry, it may start again. But usually he will stay calm just as long as you will go on cuddling.

So instead of those dreadful times in the newborn period when you felt like the most useless parents in the world, you will now know that you are magic. Maybe you wish the baby did not need your magic quite so often, but at least it is better to feel useful. The crying becomes more comprehensible, too. The baby still uses that basic hunger cry. He still lets out that pain cry which makes your heart thud. But he adds a "grumbly" cry, a sort of whimpery, fretful, almost whiny sound. And he uses that one first on most occasions. He is not saying "disaster!" or "I'm starving!" just "I don't seem to be quite happy just now." Soon afterward he adds an "anger" cry, quite unlikely any of the others. It is an indignant roar: "Come back!" it seems to say, or "I want it!" or "Don't!"

Maybe you could not describe all these different cries in words. But you will know them apart when you hear them. When he starts to grumble, you know that he is getting hungry or getting bored. You it is time to do something for him and it is easier to think what to do because you are not overwhelmed by the urgency of a full-throated roar. So at least you can begin to understand his crying better, and you can always stop it, at least for the moment. But what can you do to make him start crying less often?

Typical Cries

The baby's repertoire of cries grows. Presented visually from a sound spectrograph you can see the differences in volume, pitch and rhythm in three typical ones. More important, you will soon be able to distinguish the cries when you hear them and know what it is he needs.

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Communication: One- to Three-Months

This is an exciting time for parents - babies this age make real progress toward communicating. They will recognize you and your partner, laugh, squeal, and smile spontaneously.

Your baby's personality begins to become evident as he becomes a more active and alert member of your family.

How Babies Communicate

Crying continues to be a baby's primary means of communication for many months. Aside from letting parents know that they need something, they might cry when overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world. Sometimes babies may cry for no apparent reason. Try not to get too upset if your baby cries and you are not able to console him.

Your baby will respond to the sound of your voice by becoming quiet, smiling, or getting excited and moving his arms and legs. Babies this age begin smiling regularly at mom and dad but probably won't smile and act friendly with strangers, though they may warm up to them with coos and body talk.

Babies now discover their ability to vocalize: Soon you will have a cooing and gurgling machine! Some babies begin to make some vowel sounds, like "ah-ah" or "ooh-ooh," at about 2 months. Your baby will "talk" to you with a variety of sounds; your baby will also smile at you and wait for your response, and respond to your smiles with his own. Your baby's arms and legs will move, and his hands will open up. Your baby may even mimic your facial expressions.

What Should I Do?

Your baby loves to hear your voice, so talk, babble, sing, and coo away during these first few months. Respond enthusiastically to your baby's sounds and smiles. Tell your baby what he or she is looking at or doing and what you are doing. Name familiar objects as you touch them or bring them to your baby.

Read to your baby - even at this tender age, it help in the development of the growing brain. By listening to you, your baby will learn the importance of speech before understanding it or repeating any words.

Take special advantage of your baby's own "talking" to have a "conversation." If you hear your baby make a sound, repeat it and wait for him to make another. You are teaching your baby valuable lessons about tone, pacing, and taking turns when talking to someone else. You are also sending the message that your baby is important enough to listen to. Don't interrupt or look away when your baby's "talking" - show you are interested and that your little one can trust you.

Babies this age seem to respond best to the female voice - the one historically associated with comfort and food. That is why most people will raise the pitch of their voices and exaggerate their speech when talking to babies. This is fine - studies have shown that "baby talk" does not delay the development of speech - but feel free to mix in some regular adult words and tone. It may seem early, but you are setting the stage for your baby's first word.

Sometimes babies are not in the mood to talk or vocalize - even babies need their space and a break from all the stimulation in the world. Babies might turn away, closes their eyes, or becomes fussy or irritable. If this happens, let your little one be, or just try cuddling.

There might be times when you have met all of your baby's needs, yet he continues to cry. Do not despair - your baby may be overly stimulated, have gastric distress, or may have too much energy and need a good cry.

It is common for babies to have a fussy period at the same time every night, generally between early evening and midnight. This can be upsetting, but the good news is that it is short-lived; most babies outgrow it around 3 months.

Try to soothe your baby. Some babies are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods.

If You're Concerned

Talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for an unusual length of time or if the cries sound odd to you. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby's distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset. Babies usually reach these communication milestones during this period:

pay attention to new faces and surroundings
respond to loud noises
smile at the sound of a parent's voice
smile at other people by 3 months
coo consistently by 3 or 4 months

Keep in mind that babies communicate at different rates, just as they mature physically at different rates. There is usually no cause for concern, but talk to your doctor if your baby misses any of these milestones.

Communication: Four- to Seven-Months

Your baby's range of sounds and facial expressions continues to grow, with lots of babbling, squealing, smiling, and laughing - which may mean less time for crying. Your baby is also imitating sounds, which are first attempts at speaking.

How Babies Communicate

Babies this age begin to experiment with the sounds they can make with their mouth, using saliva as an important tool. Your baby will also make more attempts to imitate sounds and spend more time babbling. Make no mistake, these are your baby's early attempts at speaking and should be encouraged as much as possible. If you listen closely, you will hear your baby's voice raise and drop as if asking a question or making a statement.

Your baby is just now beginning to understand the fundamentals of communication through language. When younger, your baby understood your meaning through the tone of your voice: soothing tones were comforting, agitated tones told him something was wrong. Now, your baby is beginning to pick out the components of your speech and can hear and understand the different sounds you make and the way words form sentences.

Realizing that his noises have an effect on you, your baby will enjoy playing copycat games where you mimic what your little one says. Your baby may also make the discovery that crying grabs your attention. This is mostly a good thing, but your baby will also use it on occasion when bored or frustrated. Babies may also try coughing to get parental attention. Rather than punish a baby for this, give extra attention once the coughing or fussing has stopped. This is the age when your baby is able to reflect your emotional state, which is the beginning of true communication.

What Should I Do?

Babies this age like being stimulated by games and vocal interactions. Your baby will be thrilled when you copy his coos and gurgles. Imitate your baby's vowel sounds, then follow up by saying some simple words that contain the same vowel sound.

Have "conversations" and wait for a pause in your baby's babble to "answer." The give-and-take of these early discussions will set the stage for those first real words in the months to come. Ask your baby questions, and respond enthusiastically to whatever answers you get.

Introduce your baby to simple words that apply to everyday life. Use adult words - experts say that babies understand words long before they can pronounce them, and good speech habits help shape a baby's speech patterns.

When you talk to your baby, slow your speech and emphasize single words - for example, say: "Do you want a toy? This is your toy," as you show it to him. Then wait for a response. Following your speech with moments of silence will encourage your baby to vocalize and teach that conversation involves taking turns.

Your baby will love being read to from books with large, brightly colored pictures, and this will help form good speech habits while your little one enjoys looking at the images.

Sometimes babies are not in the mood to vocalize and need a break from all the stimulation around them. If your baby turns away, closes his eyes, or becomes fussy, let your baby be.

Should I Be Concerned?

Your baby will probably reach some communication milestones during this period. By the end of the seventh month, babies usually:

respond to their names
respond to sounds by making their own
start to babble or imitate sounds

Remember that there is a wide range of what is normal for babies. There is usually no cause for concern, but talk to your doctor if your baby misses any of these milestones.