Crying And Comforting

Parents often wish that their babies never cried at all. But without any crying you could neither be sure of meeting your baby's needs nor ever relax and think about other things. Crying is babies' way of communicating and they have different cries for communicating different information. Babies cry when they need something and it is because you know that yours will do so that you can assume, under all normal circumstances, that a baby who is not crying needs nothing. It would take serious illness, severe chilling, or smothering, to make a baby suffer in silence.

Babies never cry for nothing. The statement that they cry "to exercise their lungs" is nonsense. Their lungs get all the exercise they need in breathing. A baby cries for a reason; he needs something. If you can find out what it is that he needs, and provide it, the crying will stop. Usually the need is simple. Hunger. Feed him and he stops crying. But sometimes the baby cannot be satisfied so easily. The parents offer everything they can think of but the crying goes on and on.

A baby who cries and cannot be comforted is extremely difficult to cope with calmly. The sound churns his parents up emotionally. He seems to reject all their efforts to help him. They feel useless, frustrated and, eventually, angry. If the crying and the ineffectual attempts to comfort go on for long, it begins to seem to the parents that the baby will not stop crying. They lose sight of the fact that he cannot stop until he has been understood. The parents get more and more tense. Because they are tense they handle the crying baby less calmly and he therefore cries more. Some bouts of crying which have no other obvious cause may even be set off by some tension or unhappiness in the parents which the baby senses through their handling, their facial expressions or their voices.

Communication and Newborns

Do you remember your baby's very first cry? From the moment of birth, babies begin to communicate.

At first, your newborn's cries may seem like a foreign language. But before you know it, you will learn your baby's "language" and be able to answer your little one's needs. 

How Babies Communicate

Babies are born with the ability to cry, which is how they communicate for a while. Your baby's cries generally tell you that something is wrong: an empty belly, a wet bottom, cold feet, being tired, or a need to be held and cuddled, etc. 

Soon you will be able to recognize which need your baby is expressing and respond accordingly. In fact, sometimes what a baby needs can be identified by the type of cry - for example, the "I'm hungry" cry may be short and low-pitched, while "I'm upset" may sound choppy. 

Your baby may also cry when overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world, or for no apparent reason at all. Don't be too upset when your baby cries and you are not able to console him immediately. Crying is one way babies shut out stimuli when they are overloaded. 

Crying is a baby's main method of communication, but they are also capable of other, more subtle forms. Learning to recognize them is rewarding and can strengthen your bond with your baby. 

A newborn can differentiate between the sound of a human voice and other sounds. Try to pay attention to how your little one responds to your voice, which he already associates with care: food, warmth, touch. 

If your baby is crying in the bassinet, see how quickly your approaching voice quiets him. See how closely your baby listens when you talk in loving tones. Your baby may not yet coordinate looking and listening, but even when staring into the distance, he will be paying close attention to your voice as you speak. Your baby may subtly adjust body position or facial expression, or even move the arms and legs in time with your speech. 

Sometime during your newborn's first month, you may get a glimpse of a first smile and perhaps hear that first laugh or giggle - welcome additions to your baby's communication skills! 

What Should I Do?

As soon as you hold your baby after birth, you will begin to communicate with each other by exchanging your first glances, sounds, and touches. Babies quickly learn about the world through their senses.  

As the days after birth pass, your newborn will become accustomed to seeing you and will begin to focus on your face. The senses of touch and hearing are especially important, though. Your baby will be curious about noises, but none more so than the spoken voice. Talk to your baby whenever you have the chance. Even though your baby does not understand what you are saying, your calm, reassuring voice conveys safety. With almost every touch your newborn is learning about life, so provide lots of tender kisses, and your little one will find the world a soothing place. 

Communicating with newborns is a matter of meeting their needs. Always respond to your newborn's cries - babies cannot be spoiled with too much attention. Indeed, prompt responses to babies' cries lets them know that they're important and worthy of attention. 

There will probably be times when you have met all needs, yet your infant continues to cry. Don't despair - your baby may be overstimulated, or have gastric distress or too much energy and just need a good cry. 

It is common for babies to have a fussy period at the same time every night, generally between early evening and midnight. This can be upsetting, but the good news is that it is short-lived - most babies outgrow it at around three-months of age. 

You can try to soothe your baby. Some are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods. 

Should I Be Concerned?

Talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for an unusual length of time, if the cries sound odd to you, or if the crying is associated with decreased activity, poor feeding, or unusual breathing or movements. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby's distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset. 

Here are some other reasons for prolonged crying: 

• The baby is ill. A baby who cries more when being held or rocked may be sick. Call your doctor.   
• The baby has an eye irritation. A scratched cornea or "foreign body" in a baby's eye can cause redness and tearing. Call your doctor.   
• The baby is in pain. An open diaper pin or other object could be hurting the baby's skin. Take a close look everywhere, even each finger and toe (sometimes hair can get wrapped around a baby's tiny digits and cause pain).   

If you have any questions about your newborn's ability to see or hear, you should bring them to your doctor's attention immediately. Even newborns can be tested using sophisticated equipment, if necessary. The sooner a potential problem is caught, the better it can be treated.